October Playlist
Hey, all, and happy almost Halloween. This Halloweekend has been pretty crazy. Honestly, all of October--heck, this whole year--has been pretty crazy. Being 19 in Los Angeles in 2016 is beautiful and funny and overwhelming and terrifying and being in college is never what you expected it would be, and neither are you.
Here are the songs I've been listening to lately.
https://open.spotify.com/user/12149039602/playlist/0d3eKbQBMa3yFLUQA5HLpK
1. "Worth It" - 3:05
ALBUM: Lamentations
ARTIST: Moses Sumney
2. "Come Together - Remastered" - 4:20
ALBUM: Abbey Road - Remastered
ARTIST: The Beatles
3. "You And I" - 2:31
ALBUM: Emotions And Math
ARTIST: Margaret Glaspy
4. "October Song" - 3:25
ALBUM: Frank
ARTIST: Amy Winehouse
5. "So. Good." - 3:47
ALBUM: So. Good.
ARTIST: Johnny Stimson
6. "Beautiful Girl" - 4:03
ALBUM: Beautiful Girl
ARTIST: Sara Bareilles
7. "I Love How You Love Me" - 3:27
ALBUM: Live at Jittery Joe's
ARTIST: Jeff Mangum
8. "Milk & Honey" - 3:59
ALBUM: Milk & Honey
ARTIST: Billie Marten
9. "Cassidy" - 4:28
ALBUM: Por Favor
ARTIST: Brett Dennen
10. "Cough Drop" - 3:20
ALBUM: A Humble Masterpiece
ARTIST: The O'My's
11. "22 (OVER S∞∞N)" - 2:48
ALBUM: 22, A Million
ARTIST: Bon Iver
12. "Gibraltar" - 3:42
ALBUM: No No No
ARTIST: Beirut
13. "The Middle of Ohio" - 2:54
ALBUM: Song of a Dead Man
ARTIST: Taylor John Williams
14. "Gold In The Air" - 3:21
ALBUM: Get Your Burdens Lifted
ARTIST: Jesse Woods
15. "Above The Clouds of Pompeii" - 4:39
ALBUM: Islands
ARTIST: Bear's Den
16. "Mona Lisa" - 3:23
ALBUM: Chasing Waves
ARTIST: Vista Kicks
17. "Comfortable - Live In Birmingham" - 7:37
ALBUM: Any Given Thursday
ARTIST: John Mayer
18. "Hourglass" - 2:18
ALBUM: The Balcony
ARTIST: Catfish and the Bottlemen
19. "You Don't Know My Name" - 6:07
ALBUM: The Diary of Alicia Keys
ARTIST: Alicia Keys
20. "Trouble Sleeping" - 3:27
ALBUM: Corinne Bailey Rae
ARTIST: Corinne Bailey Rae
That's what I've been bumping. I don't know what to expect for the last two months of 2016, or the rest of college, or the rest of my life. I can't help but think about the macro because of how much my life is changing, how quickly and drastically and without warning. I read somewhere, in a piece about songwriting, that by the time an artist is 25, they have experienced everything necessary to make great art. I can't help but feel like it might be true.
Talk soon. xo
Sunday, October 30, 2016
Saturday, October 1, 2016
September Playlist
September Playlist
Eeek! I am a day late on my September playlist! My apologies, pals!
It has been a turbulent couple weeks. Nothing I can't handle, just a little strange. Unfortunately, not much to report on the boy and career fronts, which are my two favorite fronts. But school is chugging along, and at this moment I am in my childhood bedroom, which is always a good time.
Here are the songs! First a Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/user/12149039602/playlist/0Svuq7pYs0OyShuh33rW2T
And now the list of tunes:
1. "Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect" - 4:29
ALBUM: Castaways and Cutouts
ARTIST: The Decemberists
2. "untitled 03 | 05.28.2013." - 2:34
ALBUM: untitled unmastered.
ARTIST: Kendrick Lamar
3. "Unaware" - 5:49
ALBUM: Allen Stone
ARTIST: Allen Stone
4. "Three Thirty" - 3:35
ALBUM: Three Thirty
ARTIST: Eighty Ninety
5. "Bad Self Portraits" - 3:25
ALBUM: Bad Self Portraits
ARTIST: Lake Street Dive
6. "Lost In The Light" - 3:57
ALBUM: Barchords
ARTIST: Bahamas
7. "Lady Of The Desert" - 3:53
ALBUM: Imaginary Man
ARTIST: Rayland Baxter
8. "Secret" - 4:09
ALBUM: H & the Bay
ARTIST: Flearoy
9. "The Bird" - 3:38
ALBUM: Malibu
ARTIST: Anderson .Paak
10. "The Blacker The Berry" - 5:29
ALBUM: To Pimp A Butterfly
ARTIST: Kendrick Lamar
11. "High And Dry" - 4:17
ALBUM: The Bends
ARTIST: Nowhere to Run
12. "Nowhere to Run" - 3:29
ALBUM: Don't Dream Alone
ARTIST: My Brothers And I
13. "This Is on Me" - 4:07
ALBUM: Sirens
ARTIST: Ben Abraham, Sara Bareilles
14. "The Wolves (Act I and II)" - 5:22
ALBUM: For Emma, Forever Ago
ARTIST: Bon Iver
15. "Let Us Now Praise Simple Men" - 3:00
ALBUM: Don't Get Too Grand
ARTIST: Donovan Woods
16. "My Boy" - 4:25
ALBUM: Don't Get Too Grand
ARTIST: Donovan Woods
That'll do it, fans. My October playlist is pretty sparse at the moment, which just means it's full of possibility. I've got a couple cool performances coming up this month, so I'm excited about that. Other than that, I'm just trying to survive sophomore year. And 2016, I guess, which is suspiciously close to ending...
Talk soon. xo
Eeek! I am a day late on my September playlist! My apologies, pals!
It has been a turbulent couple weeks. Nothing I can't handle, just a little strange. Unfortunately, not much to report on the boy and career fronts, which are my two favorite fronts. But school is chugging along, and at this moment I am in my childhood bedroom, which is always a good time.
Here are the songs! First a Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/user/12149039602/playlist/0Svuq7pYs0OyShuh33rW2T
And now the list of tunes:
1. "Here I Dreamt I Was An Architect" - 4:29
ALBUM: Castaways and Cutouts
ARTIST: The Decemberists
2. "untitled 03 | 05.28.2013." - 2:34
ALBUM: untitled unmastered.
ARTIST: Kendrick Lamar
3. "Unaware" - 5:49
ALBUM: Allen Stone
ARTIST: Allen Stone
4. "Three Thirty" - 3:35
ALBUM: Three Thirty
ARTIST: Eighty Ninety
5. "Bad Self Portraits" - 3:25
ALBUM: Bad Self Portraits
ARTIST: Lake Street Dive
6. "Lost In The Light" - 3:57
ALBUM: Barchords
ARTIST: Bahamas
7. "Lady Of The Desert" - 3:53
ALBUM: Imaginary Man
ARTIST: Rayland Baxter
8. "Secret" - 4:09
ALBUM: H & the Bay
ARTIST: Flearoy
9. "The Bird" - 3:38
ALBUM: Malibu
ARTIST: Anderson .Paak
10. "The Blacker The Berry" - 5:29
ALBUM: To Pimp A Butterfly
ARTIST: Kendrick Lamar
11. "High And Dry" - 4:17
ALBUM: The Bends
ARTIST: Nowhere to Run
12. "Nowhere to Run" - 3:29
ALBUM: Don't Dream Alone
ARTIST: My Brothers And I
13. "This Is on Me" - 4:07
ALBUM: Sirens
ARTIST: Ben Abraham, Sara Bareilles
14. "The Wolves (Act I and II)" - 5:22
ALBUM: For Emma, Forever Ago
ARTIST: Bon Iver
15. "Let Us Now Praise Simple Men" - 3:00
ALBUM: Don't Get Too Grand
ARTIST: Donovan Woods
16. "My Boy" - 4:25
ALBUM: Don't Get Too Grand
ARTIST: Donovan Woods
That'll do it, fans. My October playlist is pretty sparse at the moment, which just means it's full of possibility. I've got a couple cool performances coming up this month, so I'm excited about that. Other than that, I'm just trying to survive sophomore year. And 2016, I guess, which is suspiciously close to ending...
Talk soon. xo
Wednesday, September 28, 2016
So...What Do You Do?
The title of this blog post is a question I get a lot as a popular music major.
I don't really blame anyone for asking it. The pop music program at Thornton is relatively new - the first graduating class was in 2013 - and for people who aren't dedicating their lives to the pursuit of such an unusual career, it can be hard to fathom what it is we do all do.
"Oh, you're a pop major? So like...you just sing all the time?"
Yeah, not exactly.
As a popular music major, our course load is substantial. There are aural skills and theory classes to help you master the...well, theoretical side of things, songwriting, music history, individual instruction on our primary instruments, proficiency classes for instruments we can't play yet, music technology, arranging, and...popular music performance.
I don't mean to make it sound ominous, but truth be told, performance class is exhilarating and fulfilling and terrifying and in general way more than I (or any of my classmates) bargained for when we enrolled here.
Every quarter, the class is divided into four bands, each one equipped with a lead guitarist, a drummer, a bass player, a keyboardist (maybe), and handful of vocalists and singer-songwriters to cover lead vocals, backing vocals, second keyboard and guitar parts, and handheld percussion. The first class of the quarter, we figure out our biweekly rehearsal times, and get assigned our first week of material. And that's when it gets crazy.
Twice a week (or probably more...vocal rehearsals are a great way to bond over how hard it is to hear backing vocals on recordings from the 1960s), we meet up and try to replicate some of the most significant popular music in recorded history. We go to performance class and, despite our best efforts during the week, we get roasted by your professor. We get behind on your charts and stay up really late the night before they're due trying to finish them. We get stressed out and curse the powers that be that this class--this class that you dedicate double-digit hours to every week--gets us a whopping two units closer to our degrees.
But then, in the middle of October, something incredible happens.
We have our performance midterm.
Freshmen perform on a Wednesday night at Ground Zero, the milkshake kingdom of the University of Southern California. The blenders don't stop whirring for anyone, not even the sweaty 18-year-olds belting 50s pop like their lives depend on it, and even though it's the middle of the week and the dead of midterms season, you can bet that GZ will be packed with friends and family of the froshpopcult clan. Adrenaline races as Andy calls for the freshman pop kids to huddle up like a championship basketball team. The first pep talk is always the most inspiring. It's hard to remember exactly what he says to hype us up that night, but rest assured, the energy spikes even more as the house lights come down and the show begins.
Sure, we'd been playing those songs for weeks. Sure, three bands sing "The Great Pretender" even though no one was that big a fan of that song in the first place. Sure, the keyboard does that weird thing where it spits out a synth beat for like forty-five painful seconds while the keys player looks for a piccolo sound. And sure, one of the singers trips on a wire and curses really loud and a stage mic picks it up.
But you know what else happens?
The guitarist absolutely NAILS the "Johnny B. Goode" solo. The vocalists soar on the tough backing harmonies. The drummer's stick goes sailing into the audience right after the last crash of the last song and the crowd goes wild. And right in the middle of the set, everyone looks at each other and smiles with giddy disbelief, communicating without saying a single word: I can't believe this is a midterm.
Because this is what we do. We spend hours, days, weeks, months perfecting music that laid the foundation for modern pop. We perform with the musicians that we'll be working with for the rest of our lives. We live the dream.
I haven't had a sophomore performance exam this year, so I can't speak to the differences yet. We perform on Fridays instead of Wednesdays. The material is harder. The expectations are higher. The venue is the massive, newly renovated Carson Soundstage instead of the gritty milkshake café we all came to love last year. But I know a few things will remain the same--the last-minute crazy outfit choices. The giggly, anxiety-ridden run-throughs of lyrics to confusing funk songs. But more than anything else: forming unshakable bonds during the most exhilarating final exams in the world. And then, when that crazy night is over, we show up for performance class the next Tuesday. We get assigned new bands and new songs.
And we do it all again.
I don't really blame anyone for asking it. The pop music program at Thornton is relatively new - the first graduating class was in 2013 - and for people who aren't dedicating their lives to the pursuit of such an unusual career, it can be hard to fathom what it is we do all do.
"Oh, you're a pop major? So like...you just sing all the time?"
Yeah, not exactly.
As a popular music major, our course load is substantial. There are aural skills and theory classes to help you master the...well, theoretical side of things, songwriting, music history, individual instruction on our primary instruments, proficiency classes for instruments we can't play yet, music technology, arranging, and...popular music performance.
I don't mean to make it sound ominous, but truth be told, performance class is exhilarating and fulfilling and terrifying and in general way more than I (or any of my classmates) bargained for when we enrolled here.
Every quarter, the class is divided into four bands, each one equipped with a lead guitarist, a drummer, a bass player, a keyboardist (maybe), and handful of vocalists and singer-songwriters to cover lead vocals, backing vocals, second keyboard and guitar parts, and handheld percussion. The first class of the quarter, we figure out our biweekly rehearsal times, and get assigned our first week of material. And that's when it gets crazy.
Twice a week (or probably more...vocal rehearsals are a great way to bond over how hard it is to hear backing vocals on recordings from the 1960s), we meet up and try to replicate some of the most significant popular music in recorded history. We go to performance class and, despite our best efforts during the week, we get roasted by your professor. We get behind on your charts and stay up really late the night before they're due trying to finish them. We get stressed out and curse the powers that be that this class--this class that you dedicate double-digit hours to every week--gets us a whopping two units closer to our degrees.
But then, in the middle of October, something incredible happens.
We have our performance midterm.
Freshmen perform on a Wednesday night at Ground Zero, the milkshake kingdom of the University of Southern California. The blenders don't stop whirring for anyone, not even the sweaty 18-year-olds belting 50s pop like their lives depend on it, and even though it's the middle of the week and the dead of midterms season, you can bet that GZ will be packed with friends and family of the froshpop
Sure, we'd been playing those songs for weeks. Sure, three bands sing "The Great Pretender" even though no one was that big a fan of that song in the first place. Sure, the keyboard does that weird thing where it spits out a synth beat for like forty-five painful seconds while the keys player looks for a piccolo sound. And sure, one of the singers trips on a wire and curses really loud and a stage mic picks it up.
But you know what else happens?
The guitarist absolutely NAILS the "Johnny B. Goode" solo. The vocalists soar on the tough backing harmonies. The drummer's stick goes sailing into the audience right after the last crash of the last song and the crowd goes wild. And right in the middle of the set, everyone looks at each other and smiles with giddy disbelief, communicating without saying a single word: I can't believe this is a midterm.
Because this is what we do. We spend hours, days, weeks, months perfecting music that laid the foundation for modern pop. We perform with the musicians that we'll be working with for the rest of our lives. We live the dream.
I haven't had a sophomore performance exam this year, so I can't speak to the differences yet. We perform on Fridays instead of Wednesdays. The material is harder. The expectations are higher. The venue is the massive, newly renovated Carson Soundstage instead of the gritty milkshake café we all came to love last year. But I know a few things will remain the same--the last-minute crazy outfit choices. The giggly, anxiety-ridden run-throughs of lyrics to confusing funk songs. But more than anything else: forming unshakable bonds during the most exhilarating final exams in the world. And then, when that crazy night is over, we show up for performance class the next Tuesday. We get assigned new bands and new songs.
And we do it all again.
Monday, August 22, 2016
August Playlist
August Playlist
Coming to you live from my new house and the first day of sophomore year...!
Pretty weird to think that I started this blog at the end of my sophomore year of high school, and now I'm starting my sophomore year of college. My brain isn't really processing how I am Basically An Adult (and am gonna be 19 in less than three weeks! Woo!)
I've been listening to these tunes a lot this month, on planes and in cars and just doing a whole lotta nothing in my room. It's sad, as always, to bid adieu to summer, but this year is gonna be a series of wild adventures, frustrating rehearsals, and big laughs. So let's do it! One sophomore slump, please! Hold the slump!
1. "Drive Slow" - 4:32
ALBUM: Late Registration
ARTIST: Kanye West
2. "The Mates of Soul" - 4:00
ALBUM: The Mates of Soul
ARTIST: Taylor John Williams
3. "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" - 4:05
ALBUM: The Queen Is Dead
ARTIST: The Smiths
4. "I Want You" - 3:32
ALBUM: ACT ONE
ARTIST: Marian Hill
5. "ILYSB - STRIPPED" - 4:05
ALBUM: Make Out
ARTIST: Lany
6. "Bad Day" - 3:06
ALBUM: Darwin Deez
ARTIST: Darwin Deez
7. "Have Mercy" - 4:40
ALBUM: Aviary: Act 1
ARTIST: Eryn Allen Kane
8. "Flying Kites" - 2:42
ALBUM: Beach Island
ARTIST: Jeremy Zucker
9. "Peaches" - 2:34
ALBUM: A Perfect Day
ARTIST: Bob Schneider
10. "Recreational Love" - 3:10
ALBUM: Recreational Love
ARTIST: the bird and the bee
11. "If I Go" - 3:57
ALBUM: If I Go
ARTIST: Jake McMullen
12. "You & Me" - 3:52
ALBUM: Jill Baylon - EP
ARTIST: Jill Baylon
So that's what I've been bumping, more or less. I've already started curating my playlist for September, and I'm excited to see what the next month, next semester, next year has in store for me. I'm trying not to have any crazy expectations. I'm just gonna do what makes me happy and hope for the best. Journal. Drink tea. Burn candles. Write. And of course, make music.
Talk soon. xo
Coming to you live from my new house and the first day of sophomore year...!
Pretty weird to think that I started this blog at the end of my sophomore year of high school, and now I'm starting my sophomore year of college. My brain isn't really processing how I am Basically An Adult (and am gonna be 19 in less than three weeks! Woo!)
I've been listening to these tunes a lot this month, on planes and in cars and just doing a whole lotta nothing in my room. It's sad, as always, to bid adieu to summer, but this year is gonna be a series of wild adventures, frustrating rehearsals, and big laughs. So let's do it! One sophomore slump, please! Hold the slump!
1. "Drive Slow" - 4:32
ALBUM: Late Registration
ARTIST: Kanye West
2. "The Mates of Soul" - 4:00
ALBUM: The Mates of Soul
ARTIST: Taylor John Williams
3. "There Is A Light That Never Goes Out" - 4:05
ALBUM: The Queen Is Dead
ARTIST: The Smiths
4. "I Want You" - 3:32
ALBUM: ACT ONE
ARTIST: Marian Hill
5. "ILYSB - STRIPPED" - 4:05
ALBUM: Make Out
ARTIST: Lany
6. "Bad Day" - 3:06
ALBUM: Darwin Deez
ARTIST: Darwin Deez
7. "Have Mercy" - 4:40
ALBUM: Aviary: Act 1
ARTIST: Eryn Allen Kane
8. "Flying Kites" - 2:42
ALBUM: Beach Island
ARTIST: Jeremy Zucker
9. "Peaches" - 2:34
ALBUM: A Perfect Day
ARTIST: Bob Schneider
10. "Recreational Love" - 3:10
ALBUM: Recreational Love
ARTIST: the bird and the bee
11. "If I Go" - 3:57
ALBUM: If I Go
ARTIST: Jake McMullen
12. "You & Me" - 3:52
ALBUM: Jill Baylon - EP
ARTIST: Jill Baylon
So that's what I've been bumping, more or less. I've already started curating my playlist for September, and I'm excited to see what the next month, next semester, next year has in store for me. I'm trying not to have any crazy expectations. I'm just gonna do what makes me happy and hope for the best. Journal. Drink tea. Burn candles. Write. And of course, make music.
Talk soon. xo
Wednesday, July 27, 2016
July Playlist
July Playlist
Hey fam! July has been a pretty good month, I think. Honestly, it's mostly blurring in my mind--Tumblr, journaling, songwriting, screenplay-writing, novel-writing, finally exercising...but mostly me laying on my bed and staring at a screen. LOL. Nothing has changed.
I leave for a quick vacation on August 1st, and the next time I post a monthly playlist, I'll be moved into my sophomore year house, which is INSANE, but anyway here is my music for the month of July! My last two playlists were quite anticlimactic, because I wasn't listening to much music, but I've been listening to these tracks constantly, so I hope you enjoy!
Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/user/12149039602/playlist/0EhngKWmwDrDsFBvdbcuUV
1. "Plastic" - 2.37
ALBUM: Mid-City Island
ARTIST: Moses Sumney
2. "Emotions And Math" - 3:17
ALBUM: Emotions and Math
ARTIST: Margaret Glaspy
3. "Tilted" - 3:53
ALBUM: Christine And The Queens
ARTIST: Christine and the Queens
4. "Where's Your Heart Gone" - 4:10
ALBUM: Where's Your Heart Gone
ARTIST: Golden Youth
5. "After Rain" - 4:54
ALBUM: After Rain
ARTIST: Dermot Kennedy
6. "Rejoice" - 3:34
ALBUM: Sprained Ankle
ARTIST: Julien Baker
7. "Wildfire" - 4:13
ALBUM: Paradise Valley
ARTIST: John Mayer
8. "All Falls Down" - 3:44
ALBUM: The College Dropout
ARTIST: Kanye West, Syleena Johnson
9. "Bluegrass" - 5:19
ALBUM: Move
ARTIST: Matt Phillips, Phil Harmonic
10. "Coffee" - 3:46
ALBUM: FMA
ARTIST: Grace
11. "Yellow Eyes" - 3:51
ALBUM: Yellow Eyes
ARTIST: Rayland Baxter
12. "Way Down We Go" - 3:40
ALBUM: Way Down We Go
ARTIST: Kaleo
13. "Getting Ready to Get Down" - 3:16
ALBUM: Getting Ready to Get Down
ARTIST: Josh Ritter
14. "Famous" - 3:16
ALBUM: The Life of Pablo
ARTIST: Kanye West
These are all the songs I've been listening to for the last three and a half weeks. I've been having a great summer so far, but I'm getting super excited for my second year of college. THINGS ARE CHANGING. For real this time. Let's do it.
Talk soon. xo
Hey fam! July has been a pretty good month, I think. Honestly, it's mostly blurring in my mind--Tumblr, journaling, songwriting, screenplay-writing, novel-writing, finally exercising...but mostly me laying on my bed and staring at a screen. LOL. Nothing has changed.
I leave for a quick vacation on August 1st, and the next time I post a monthly playlist, I'll be moved into my sophomore year house, which is INSANE, but anyway here is my music for the month of July! My last two playlists were quite anticlimactic, because I wasn't listening to much music, but I've been listening to these tracks constantly, so I hope you enjoy!
Spotify link: https://open.spotify.com/user/12149039602/playlist/0EhngKWmwDrDsFBvdbcuUV
1. "Plastic" - 2.37
ALBUM: Mid-City Island
ARTIST: Moses Sumney
2. "Emotions And Math" - 3:17
ALBUM: Emotions and Math
ARTIST: Margaret Glaspy
3. "Tilted" - 3:53
ALBUM: Christine And The Queens
ARTIST: Christine and the Queens
4. "Where's Your Heart Gone" - 4:10
ALBUM: Where's Your Heart Gone
ARTIST: Golden Youth
5. "After Rain" - 4:54
ALBUM: After Rain
ARTIST: Dermot Kennedy
6. "Rejoice" - 3:34
ALBUM: Sprained Ankle
ARTIST: Julien Baker
7. "Wildfire" - 4:13
ALBUM: Paradise Valley
ARTIST: John Mayer
8. "All Falls Down" - 3:44
ALBUM: The College Dropout
ARTIST: Kanye West, Syleena Johnson
9. "Bluegrass" - 5:19
ALBUM: Move
ARTIST: Matt Phillips, Phil Harmonic
10. "Coffee" - 3:46
ALBUM: FMA
ARTIST: Grace
11. "Yellow Eyes" - 3:51
ALBUM: Yellow Eyes
ARTIST: Rayland Baxter
12. "Way Down We Go" - 3:40
ALBUM: Way Down We Go
ARTIST: Kaleo
13. "Getting Ready to Get Down" - 3:16
ALBUM: Getting Ready to Get Down
ARTIST: Josh Ritter
14. "Famous" - 3:16
ALBUM: The Life of Pablo
ARTIST: Kanye West
These are all the songs I've been listening to for the last three and a half weeks. I've been having a great summer so far, but I'm getting super excited for my second year of college. THINGS ARE CHANGING. For real this time. Let's do it.
Talk soon. xo
Sunday, July 17, 2016
Another Word on Police Brutality
Disclaimer: I support the #BlackLivesMatter movement.
Disclaimer: I am pro-cop. Well, I'm pro-good cop.
Disclaimer: I am as anti-gun as they come.
I've seen a lot of emotional calls to action, logical breakdowns of fact, and mixes of the two. I have seen liberals and conservatives duke it out on social media for supremacy of opinion. And I am exhausted by it.
I don't want to write that long of a post here, I just want to say what I really think about the problem of police brutality in this country.
Being in a police officer is dangerous. But it's not the most dangerous job in the world by any stretch of the imagination. It's also a choice. If you do not want to put your life on the line every day, perhaps you are better suited to a job that is not often dangerous or life-threatening. No matter how noble your intentions are, every time you put on your badge and walk the streets, you are not just enforcing the law and protecting the innocent. You have pinned a shiny gold target to your chest. And no matter how race relations change in this country, that will always be an immutable fact.
I read a lengthy post from a police officer about how black-on-black crime is a much larger problem than cop-on-black crime. (I'm not even going to get into how the only reason that's a problem is because of systemic discrimination and abuse, because it would take too long). I've read articles stating that more white people have been killed by police than black people and about how Latinos are killed in almost the same numbers as blacks.
That information doesn't matter to me, and here's why.
Police should NEVER shoot to kill.
The problem of police brutality is racial. We need to stop dancing around that. There's way, way more statistical information to back up the fact that blacks are more frequently harassed, verbally abused, physically attacked, tasered, and yes, shot and killed by police than whites, even while unarmed. But statistics can be biased. Statistics can be misleading. What we can calculate is how often police have killed people, regardless of race.
And no matter what number you get, if it's larger than zero, we've got a problem.
Police will argue that if their lives are in jeopardy, they have no choice but to shoot. And I would agree that if your life is threatened you should be able to defend yourself. But there are so, so many jobs with equal or greater danger posed by other human beings where killing is not an option. Think of a social worker. Think of an orderly in a mental hospital with violent patients. These are people who walk into equally or more dangerous situations as police officers every day, but with no guns. They have to subdue violent people or escape violent circumstances without killing people all the time. So why do the police kill so often? When a social worker enters a dysfunctional home to remove children from the care of an unfit and abusive parent, they know that there's a chance the situation will escalate to the violence. But do they walk in with a gun in their belt, hand already gripped around the trigger? No. They don't.
I am of the controversial opinion that our police force should not be armed at all and that no civilians should be allowed possession of guns. I hate guns. I really, really hate them. I think the second amendment is just as outdated as the Three-Fifths compromise, and that if the greatest threat to your civil rights is having your gun taken away, then your life is pretty good. I think that in other countries, where the police forces are far less heavily armed and there are next to zero fatalities caused by police, they've got it right.
But I know that the United States is way too gun-happy--and that many members of the government are too far in the pocket of the NRA--to get rid of guns in the way I'd like.
So I just want to say this: bad cops need to figure out a way to stop killing people. Black and white and everyone in between. This is a heavily racialized issue, and I wish people would stop trying to deny that, but it's also just a purely human issue. Our police forces are practically military in their armaments, and they seem way too quick to pull triggers and end lives. If police officers are going to be armed, the gun needs to be the last resort, and it should never be used to kill. There are ways to disarm dangerous criminals without shooting them.
The police have to do their jobs without committing murder. There are so many good cops out there, and just a few bad ones who slaughter innocents and criminals alike. The God complex has to stop. The bloodshed has to stop.
Disclaimer: I am pro-cop. Well, I'm pro-good cop.
Disclaimer: I am as anti-gun as they come.
I've seen a lot of emotional calls to action, logical breakdowns of fact, and mixes of the two. I have seen liberals and conservatives duke it out on social media for supremacy of opinion. And I am exhausted by it.
I don't want to write that long of a post here, I just want to say what I really think about the problem of police brutality in this country.
Being in a police officer is dangerous. But it's not the most dangerous job in the world by any stretch of the imagination. It's also a choice. If you do not want to put your life on the line every day, perhaps you are better suited to a job that is not often dangerous or life-threatening. No matter how noble your intentions are, every time you put on your badge and walk the streets, you are not just enforcing the law and protecting the innocent. You have pinned a shiny gold target to your chest. And no matter how race relations change in this country, that will always be an immutable fact.
I read a lengthy post from a police officer about how black-on-black crime is a much larger problem than cop-on-black crime. (I'm not even going to get into how the only reason that's a problem is because of systemic discrimination and abuse, because it would take too long). I've read articles stating that more white people have been killed by police than black people and about how Latinos are killed in almost the same numbers as blacks.
That information doesn't matter to me, and here's why.
Police should NEVER shoot to kill.
The problem of police brutality is racial. We need to stop dancing around that. There's way, way more statistical information to back up the fact that blacks are more frequently harassed, verbally abused, physically attacked, tasered, and yes, shot and killed by police than whites, even while unarmed. But statistics can be biased. Statistics can be misleading. What we can calculate is how often police have killed people, regardless of race.
And no matter what number you get, if it's larger than zero, we've got a problem.
Police will argue that if their lives are in jeopardy, they have no choice but to shoot. And I would agree that if your life is threatened you should be able to defend yourself. But there are so, so many jobs with equal or greater danger posed by other human beings where killing is not an option. Think of a social worker. Think of an orderly in a mental hospital with violent patients. These are people who walk into equally or more dangerous situations as police officers every day, but with no guns. They have to subdue violent people or escape violent circumstances without killing people all the time. So why do the police kill so often? When a social worker enters a dysfunctional home to remove children from the care of an unfit and abusive parent, they know that there's a chance the situation will escalate to the violence. But do they walk in with a gun in their belt, hand already gripped around the trigger? No. They don't.
I am of the controversial opinion that our police force should not be armed at all and that no civilians should be allowed possession of guns. I hate guns. I really, really hate them. I think the second amendment is just as outdated as the Three-Fifths compromise, and that if the greatest threat to your civil rights is having your gun taken away, then your life is pretty good. I think that in other countries, where the police forces are far less heavily armed and there are next to zero fatalities caused by police, they've got it right.
But I know that the United States is way too gun-happy--and that many members of the government are too far in the pocket of the NRA--to get rid of guns in the way I'd like.
So I just want to say this: bad cops need to figure out a way to stop killing people. Black and white and everyone in between. This is a heavily racialized issue, and I wish people would stop trying to deny that, but it's also just a purely human issue. Our police forces are practically military in their armaments, and they seem way too quick to pull triggers and end lives. If police officers are going to be armed, the gun needs to be the last resort, and it should never be used to kill. There are ways to disarm dangerous criminals without shooting them.
The police have to do their jobs without committing murder. There are so many good cops out there, and just a few bad ones who slaughter innocents and criminals alike. The God complex has to stop. The bloodshed has to stop.
Saturday, July 16, 2016
It Is Hard to Be Yourself
It is really difficult to be yourself. Or maybe it's just difficult to be MY self.
I feel like the people I've met at college fall into these neat little boxes--the carefree artist, the reserved academic, the ambitious preprofessional, the inebriated frat star, the boisterous clown. I find myself at the nexus of a lot of these groups, always on the outskirts of their fun and never quite invited in. I'm either too boring or too wild or too lazy or too uptight or too unfunny at any given time to any given person. I feel like other than my family, I don't really have anyone who makes me comfortable being my full self. I don't mean to cast aspersions on my friends who appear to fall into these boxes--and I recognize how tremendously unfair it is for me to categorize these people so narrowly--because I know they're not trying to change me. But it's inherent that when you're hanging out with seven of your friends and all seven of them are in sync and you're not there with them, you're gonna feel some pressure to be different.
I guess what I want to know is how I can feel contented with who I am and not feel like it's too much or not enough.
The artists make me worry that I'm too mainstream when they come to class in big flowing skirts and cool vintage clothes, and I'm wearing an outfit plucked straight off a mannequin from the Gap. The academics make me feel like a burnout when they spend their Friday nights holed up in the library, and I stay up till 3am, bouncing from party to party with my music and film friends. The preprofessionals make think that I haven't done enough for my future when they land internship after internship, where my resume lays mostly blank. The frat stars make me feel like a square when they do five shots in a row or have one-night stands, and I quietly explain that I don't drink or do drugs or sleep with strangers. The clowns make me feel exceedingly boring when they get a big laugh in our motley crew of friends, and my jokes fall flat.
I just don't want to feel like I'm listening to the wrong music or wearing the wrong clothes or watching the wrong movies. I want to feel like people want me around and not like I'm this strange passenger who stole aboard their cargo ship moments before launching into the sea.
That sounded weird as hell, but I'm going with it.
I think the worst part about these feelings is that sometimes, I know EXACTLY who I am. When it comes to my career, I know what I want and where I want to go. But all of that gets muddled when I hang out with people whose personalities seem a lot more defined, or at least recognizable. Embarrassingly, I feel like I can't even recognize myself sometimes.
I guess the point of me writing all this is to say that one of my goals for my next year of college--and all the years to come in my life, I suppose--is to get better at being myself in front of other people. Going to a school like USC, being in a program like the pop music program, living in a house full of film majors--I'm surrounded by unique individuals all the time, and somehow, that has always made me feel like I'm standing out wrong (which just situationally makes no sense). I'm going to embrace all aspects of my personality: be loud when I feel like being loud, shutting up when I feel introspective and quiet, cracking jokes when they come to me, writing when I'm inspired, and being the odd patchwork person that I am. The artist, the academic, the preprofessional, the frat star, the clown. (Okay, maybe I'm not much of a frat star, but you get my point.)
And if you've ever felt these feelings, if I've explained them in a way that makes them sound familiar to you, then I urge you to do the same. Spend the next academic year of your life without superfluous filters. As long as you're not hurting anyone, you should be allowed to do pretty much whatever you want. So, I guess, figure out what that is, and then go do it.
Talk soon. xo
I feel like the people I've met at college fall into these neat little boxes--the carefree artist, the reserved academic, the ambitious preprofessional, the inebriated frat star, the boisterous clown. I find myself at the nexus of a lot of these groups, always on the outskirts of their fun and never quite invited in. I'm either too boring or too wild or too lazy or too uptight or too unfunny at any given time to any given person. I feel like other than my family, I don't really have anyone who makes me comfortable being my full self. I don't mean to cast aspersions on my friends who appear to fall into these boxes--and I recognize how tremendously unfair it is for me to categorize these people so narrowly--because I know they're not trying to change me. But it's inherent that when you're hanging out with seven of your friends and all seven of them are in sync and you're not there with them, you're gonna feel some pressure to be different.
I guess what I want to know is how I can feel contented with who I am and not feel like it's too much or not enough.
The artists make me worry that I'm too mainstream when they come to class in big flowing skirts and cool vintage clothes, and I'm wearing an outfit plucked straight off a mannequin from the Gap. The academics make me feel like a burnout when they spend their Friday nights holed up in the library, and I stay up till 3am, bouncing from party to party with my music and film friends. The preprofessionals make think that I haven't done enough for my future when they land internship after internship, where my resume lays mostly blank. The frat stars make me feel like a square when they do five shots in a row or have one-night stands, and I quietly explain that I don't drink or do drugs or sleep with strangers. The clowns make me feel exceedingly boring when they get a big laugh in our motley crew of friends, and my jokes fall flat.
I just don't want to feel like I'm listening to the wrong music or wearing the wrong clothes or watching the wrong movies. I want to feel like people want me around and not like I'm this strange passenger who stole aboard their cargo ship moments before launching into the sea.
That sounded weird as hell, but I'm going with it.
I think the worst part about these feelings is that sometimes, I know EXACTLY who I am. When it comes to my career, I know what I want and where I want to go. But all of that gets muddled when I hang out with people whose personalities seem a lot more defined, or at least recognizable. Embarrassingly, I feel like I can't even recognize myself sometimes.
I guess the point of me writing all this is to say that one of my goals for my next year of college--and all the years to come in my life, I suppose--is to get better at being myself in front of other people. Going to a school like USC, being in a program like the pop music program, living in a house full of film majors--I'm surrounded by unique individuals all the time, and somehow, that has always made me feel like I'm standing out wrong (which just situationally makes no sense). I'm going to embrace all aspects of my personality: be loud when I feel like being loud, shutting up when I feel introspective and quiet, cracking jokes when they come to me, writing when I'm inspired, and being the odd patchwork person that I am. The artist, the academic, the preprofessional, the frat star, the clown. (Okay, maybe I'm not much of a frat star, but you get my point.)
And if you've ever felt these feelings, if I've explained them in a way that makes them sound familiar to you, then I urge you to do the same. Spend the next academic year of your life without superfluous filters. As long as you're not hurting anyone, you should be allowed to do pretty much whatever you want. So, I guess, figure out what that is, and then go do it.
Talk soon. xo
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